1. |
Weightless
04:12
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Weightless by Alexa Wildish
I’m all hummingbird inside
My chest trembles constantly
It’s always buzzing in my veins
Telling me I’m not ok
I’ve run empty trying to catch this thing
My laughter fills up all the space
Around someone I want to know me
Words are crowding in my mouth
Choking as I spit them out
God, I’m reeling it’s unbearable
I’d carry an anvil in my hands
So I could feel the heft of where I stand
I’d crush myself
Under the comfort of control
I’d rather be flattened than feel weightless and alone
Finish all my sentences,
before I think of what to say
Please make me shut up
I know I’m too much
So fast I’m almost invisible
I’d carry an anvil in my hands
So I could feel the heft of where I stand
I’d crush myself
Under the comfort of control
I’d rather be flattened than feel weightless
I’m fine
I’m fine
I’m all hummingbird inside
Life vibrating endlessly
What If I could let this fly?
Would I circle the whole sky?
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2. |
Save Face
04:20
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Save Face by Alexa Wildish
As an hour passes by, I wait for the call, for your excuses
And no matter how I feel, I hold it inside so you won’t leave
I built a dam to humble all this power, took a river down to a trickle
I’m disintegrating
I don’t say what I need to say
But I’ll save face, like I’ve learned to do
I won’t get mad
I’ll save face, I will shelter you
It hurts but you won’t know how bad
Before we met I used to think,
That I could trust my own compass
Then the luster in my eyes magnetized to you
Was mesmerized, turned by your pull
Fuzed my heart yours
I’m disintegrating
I can’t say what I need to say
But I’ll save face, like I’ve learned to do
I won’t get mad
I’ll save face, I’ll shelter you
It hurts but you won’t know how bad
Maybe I’ll let go
Of control
Maybe I won’t
Maybe I won’t, maybe I won’t try
Underneath the silver moon, we stand so pale, hearts pried open
And you ask me for some time- to know your own self- to set us free
I hear the words that should have come from me
Petrified by what I most need
I’m disintegrating,
I won’t say what I need to say
So I’ll save face cause it’s all I know
And all I’ve been shown
I’ll save face, and you’ll leave me
And I’ll be on my own
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3. |
The Well
04:03
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The Well by Alexa Wildish
I walked up to the edge, almost jumped right in
Stood there in my nakedness, I felt drenched in sin
But then I fell to my knees, cried into the well
Realized that I was good, my mind had made my hell
The water, the water revealed to me
Looked down at my reflection, staring back at me
I could see my past regrets, but they rippled like a dream
Now, inside the mirror, clear as it can be
I see I’m pure and holy now, and I’ve always been
The water, Oh the water reveals to me
How I’ve seen a change
Giving up on fear
In this love I’ve found within
I can meet you there
I feel such compassion surging like a sea
You can take what I am giving and give it right back to me
{I} once felt myself drowning in my shame and guilt
But now the pain has washed away, with every trace of doubt
The water, Oh the water reveals me
How I’ve seen a change
Giving up on fear
In this love I’ve found within
I will meet you there
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4. |
Magic Hours
03:27
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Magic Hours by Alexa Wildish
In these Magic Hours
Held in your spell, you mapped my stars
With colors surrounding us
On a busy canvas
You painted over all the places I would not look
And revealed your work
Oh you must love me so
In these Magic Hours
You drew me out from under my own blanket of doubt
You saw me hiding there
In your quiet song, you invited all of me to join with my voice
So that more could hear
Oh you must love me so
When time has slowed down, I sing your poetry out loud
In your reflection, I can see the depths of me
In these Magic Hours
All the melodies began to wheel around me
Like saturn’s rings
You were blazing through me
And you danced with me out to the infinite
With more grace than I ever knew
Oh I must love you so
For me to know
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5. |
Invocation
02:32
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Invocation by Alexa Wildish
I’ve traveled far so I could I know
the boundless ocean of this soul
I've journeyed on the warrior's way
led from my heart, the wise ones say
and every word my heart could write
came from each sun and hallowed night
under the soil, I learned to sew
seeds of my hurt so love could grow
a flower blossoms toward the sky
with a prayer and humble sigh
I’m tall with grace because of you
you are my roots, you’ve made me new
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6. |
Refuge
03:44
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Refuge by Alexa Wildish
Walking beside you, holding your hand
You voice all your thoughts, your manic desire to end
To kill off the you that’s pretend
By crossing the border to buy your own gun
You aim to convince me this is only way through
I’m here to listen to you
I’m here, I love you and that’s all I know
I won’t try to fix you, push or persuade you, or change the way you feel
I’ll be your refuge, a place you can go
You've suffered for so long, let me hold you, show you something real
Caught in the wind of your merciless fear
I’m spun around, turning my heart to the pain
Shaken by how we’re the same
I see the madness that rushes on through
And all my old wounds are mirrored in you
We both want the freedom to lay down the armor we bear
I’m here, I love you and that’s all I know
I won’t try to fix you, push or persuade you, or change the way you feel
I’ll be your refuge, a place you can go
You’ve suffered for so long, let me hold you, show you something real
I feel your heart beating under your skin
the quiver of life gently caressing my hand
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